Monday, February 05, 2007
The smile
It was a silly pun, a bad joke, but she smiled. I realize that she'd never actually smiled at me or one of my comments. She'd always snarled or ignored me. I guess it didn't help that I kept tossing her from class and exiling her to a quiet room next to my classroom. She struggled in class because she can't read well, or write for that matter. I think that classroom anger is more of a result of fear of failure than anything else. For those of us who love the classroom and easily fit into the standard societal mode, it is hard for us to understand these students. As a result, we butt heads and when authority is challenged, especially the thin shred of teacher authority, the reaction tends to be an overreaction. This is what happened with me and this student. For several reasons, one being she would not come to my class for a few weeks, a middle ground was found and I was able to help her. She is no longer in my class and now, without the oppressive performance expectations hanging over our heads, she is free to be human and kind, as I am. Today she smiled for the first time, and I can smile for the first time in a long time as well.
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2 comments:
I had a similar episode as a student in high school. I was dropped down from the high level math class in the 9th grade because I was a habitual homework delinquent. By the time I reached my senior year, I was bored silly with the pace of the math class and had become a sarcastic interruption in class. My teacher--Miss Duffy (she was like 90 years old) threw me out of class (figuratively, not literally) before the Christmas break and would not let me back in until we aired out our laundry. She recognized that I was underchallenged in math and moved me up to the high level of the class behind me. She explained to me that there are four types of students: those who have it and use it, those who have it and don't, those who don't have it and try like the dickens, and those who don't have it and couldn't care less. It's a broad generalization but she made her point, I had it and didn't use it. From then I wanted to show that I could do it and I worked harder at it. It didn't entirely overcome the effect of being dropped back three years earlier but it helped. She also signed me up for an aptitude test that she said was a strict gage of math concepts as opposed to learned knowledge, and out of two full classes of level 55 students I achieved the 3rd highest score. I detested Miss Duffy back when she threw me out of her class, but in retrospect it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me in high school, from an academic standpoint, because I learned a valuable lesson that nothing comes easy, even when we are blessed with the skills. So chin up, Jim--tough love isn't easy and you may not always see the fruits of your labor but rest assured someday your students will thank you for it, if only in their heads.
joeydee:
Great to hear from you. I'm enjoying your blog as well. Thanks for the positive words. Yes, I know I'm doing good and that some will appreciate it when grown up. I wish it would be little easier doing some small good.
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