Mr. Negative

Two incidents have bothered me this week and it made me realize how often we tend to focus on the negatives in life rather than look for the positive. I have a particularly difficult student who I constantly find breaking the most basic rules of the school. I'm not the only one, but she is convinced that I am the root of all her issues. We have a dress code and she is constantly out of dress code. She is a nexus of trouble, on her cell phone in school, swearing in the hall, getting into fights, destroying school property. She had been suspended five times since school started. I e-mail her mother all the time trying to figure out how to prevent her from failing the class and convincing her that she should behave. I have excused assessments and allowed late assignments for all her work. Nothing works - her mother wrote to say she thinks I am picking on her and yet I'm only a small percentage of her 15 referrals to the Principal.

As students were on their way to lunch, I saw this young woman in the locker bay in front of my class leaning up against the lockers with a young man grabbing her hips and beginning to grind. Of course, I call to them to stop and bring the young man into my classroom to tell him that he could get into trouble for that type of physical contact. He tells me I'm picking on him.

Some days I think it would easier to simply shut the door and ignore, but I just can't. I must have some OCD thing about following rules.

So I'm depressed. Then I remember another student, who fought me all last year. She stopped to tell me she liked my class and learned a lot. I think most of my students like me, but the greatest amount of feedback is the negative. Ironically, I think that is true for students as well. Teachers tend to tell them what they did wrong, not what they did right. I think I'll try to say a positive comment to each of my students this week and thank them for their efforts.

Well, maybe not all of them....

Finals

A crazy week ended and a new one will begin. Finals begin on Wednesday and then a new semester begins the next week. It's a time of new beginnings and new opportunities. It is somewhat odd because amidst the newness is the fatigue of mid-year. I am looking forward to the new semester. I have an honors group, which I think will challenge me and visa verse. I also have my contemporary literature class, which I really hope to experiment with a new writing focus and individual project work. They will each pick a book, short story and poet and teach them to the class. I will work with them to develop ideas and presentations. I hope it is fun for all of us.

Cal's countdown continues. Graduation and, with the blessing, acceptance into the Dominicans. Sam got one of the leads, Skye Masterson in Guys and Dolls so the excitement continues.

Recovering

Back to school and all its craziness. Cal and Meg left on Sunday and I haven't decided if the house is back to normal or not. Is it possible that normal is when Cal and Meg are not here? It's odd - they are happy, as we are, when they come home. There is no greater excitement or anticipation than when they come home. Yet, I sense there is some relief on their part when they go back to school. Oddly, while I can't say its relief, there is a sense or normalcy when its just Mo, Sam and me. I fight the idea that it is sad. Life does go on and I force myself to look forward and see the positive of life changes. The problem with high school and college is that life is boxed into 4 year segments and that makes time speed up. And, really, it's not quite 4 years since the junior and senior year are, in our time, as much about looking ahead and enjoying the present. We do so hurt ourselves by always looking forward instead of seeing today.

I was involved in an odd incident in school today. We had a big meeting about behavior and then a separate meeting was held with 20-30 students who are chronically in trouble, suspended, and disrespectful and a specialist in these behavioral issues. I was talking to a senior about strategies to get her into Middlebury when I heard a noise that I thought was a fight. As it turned out, it was 6-8 of these troubled students in the hallway - I guess returning to class. As soon as they saw me they laughed derisively. I decided to ignore them and went back towards my room and continued my discussion. Then one of the girls said loud enough for me and the student to hear "Hey, there is more of us, we can jump him." I can't say I felt threatened, but it was definitely meant as a threat. I thought about it a little after and contempated how it is a short jump from verbal threat to action. I'm frustrated that my colleagues and too many teachers in too many schools have to put up with this type of verbal abuse. The bright light in all this chaos was my discussion with my former student, who wasn't a big fan of my class. It was a delight to see her growing up and realizing her talents and beginning to apply them. That is why teachers teach.

Holidays on the road

My holiday week. Up on Saturday, 12/23 and on the road to Baltimore by 5:30 AM. Visit my brother, great time; drive to Jeanne and Jake's in Westminster. Dinner. Up early and go to Gettysburg, PA to visit Ajou and Pa Pa's grave. My heart aches every time I'm in Gettysburg. I miss them and I miss the wonderful times we had as a family while we were visiting. I wonder how hard it must be for Mo. I'm rarely nostalgic, but I'm always so when I now go to Gettysburg. Even now I have that hollow feeling writing about it. Oh, well. Drive back to Westminster. Dinner and open gifts. Jake makes up a game for every Christmas. This year it was Family Feud. It was a lot of fun. Jake truly is the salt of the earth, as Ajou always said. Wake up early and drive to Kathy's for dinner with 40, count them, 40 relatives. She did a great job and it was great to see so many people. Drive back to Westminster. Up early and on the road by 6:30 AM and return to CT. Can't sleep. Next day we drive to Providence to see Baka and Pop. Drive home.

Crash and write bills, do some year end tax work, correct unit tests, start on essays. Sunday, drive to Providence for Baka's birthday party at Cathy's - it was great. Cathy and Baka gave us a wonderful picture album. My sense is that my parents are beginning to empty their house and give items to all of us. It's healthy and good. They are 79 and 80. Drive to Boston. Hang and celebrate New Years with Rick and Lisa. Meg and Sam were with us. Cal stayed home and had a small party. 2007 will be a big year for him and us as he graduates and decides on the priesthood. I'm sure it will happen for him, but it is still up in the air and in God's hands. Drive home and write lesson plans.

What a holiday! I'm almost grateful to go back to school.