Having convinced, OK, coerced my 15 year old to let me onto his My Space site, for research purposes mind you, and viewed his friends, including two of my niece’s sites, my academic analysis is list below:
Ouch! Argh! Eeek! Stooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!
As a parent, my reaction is
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Now, ethical dilemma - does a graduate student doing a class project tell his in-laws that their daughters are posing and posting pictures of themselves on My Space for their, obviously (uncle talk) lowlife, red neck, someone needs to slap you around boyfriend (can’t she do better than that) or assume that as a caring parent they are fully aware (i.e. sneaking on to her site) of their daughter’s technological forays into to this, obviously benighted, evil, gosh, Joe Lieberman was right, cyber world of ours.
Conversation over phone:
Jim: Hey, it’s Jim. Happy holidays.
In-laws: Jim who? Oh, my god! What’s wrong? Who’s hurt?
Jim: No one. Gee, why do you ask?
In-laws: In 24 years as a brother –in-law, you’ve never called us. So we were concerned. Sorry…so, what’s happening?
Jim: Oh, nothing much. I just happened to be surfing the net, specifically My Space, for my graduate class at Trinity College.
In-laws: What the hell kind of college has a class where you cruise My Space? Is it one of those internet colleges? What is it called, Phoenix something…
Jim: Let’s not go there. So, how is your daughter doing? Hey, how’s her My Space site doing?
In-laws: (Silence)
All joking aside, I was appalled by what I saw. I know that it is silly. I work with teenagers in school all day long. Still, what I saw reinforced the concerns that everyone has talked about. My own son’s account was benign, probably a function of being grounded so often for grades he can’t spend time being more creative. Besides he’s a boy and it was intriguing how less mature and open they were than the girl’s sites. I felt like a voyeur. I asked my son, and will ask my students, why does everyone post pictures of themselves? Hasn’t anyone been watching TV? He posted a picture of himself and his sister. He says he’s from down south but his picture shows them wearing Red Sox gear at Fenway. No, he’s no 007. The talk about parents, drugs, alcohol, the bad grammar and spelling…I think I’ll block My Space and then call Lieberman’s office to apologize for that Lamont vote.
Wow, I’m depressed. I’m going to bed. I think I’ll dosomething adult and mind expanding. I’m going to watch “The Girls Next Door”
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4 comments:
Being the digital anarchist libertarian that I am, I don't think you should call up your brother-in-law. As a Lamont staff, I don't think you should apologize for voting for Lamont, either.
One of the comments that people often make is that we don't want a nanny state where the government protects us from our own stupidity.
If we had laws requiring 15 year olds to act responsibly online, you can be sure that they would get around them.
So, my response to the ethical dilemma: Don't go to the parents. Speak with the daughters directly.
jim: I found your MySpace page really, um, fascinating. I was so fascinated that I sent the link to your folks, all your cousins and everyone in my class.
dumb-struck niece: No Way!
jim: (Trying to sound hip) Yes Way! One of my classmates even suggested I print out your page and pass it out at the mall.
now horrified niece: You wouldn't do that would you?
jim: Why not? MySpace is, for all practical purposes just like a mall. Anyone can see you there, so you need to think carefully how you behave.
Note: I actually stole this idea from David Weinberger's blog
Aldon's comment sort of mentioned what I was trying to say in class. You don't want so much control on Myspace that people aren't able to use it the way that want to. I think the ability to be anonymous or represent a different side of yourself if you want is a great quality. And, of course, teens will always find a way around new rules. There should be some control, but I'm not sure what that could be without changing the whole system. I personally don’t really care if people post pictures of themselves. There seems to be a lot of concerns of kids being 'corrupted,' but most teenagers I know are already having sex and/or experimenting with drugs, etc so I guess I see scandalous pictures as the least of parental worries.
"Most teenagers I know are already having sex and/or experimenting with drugs, etc."
Kirsten...I'm sure you assuaged all of Jim's concerns.
Jim...Looking at my students' MySpace profiles left me with the same sinking feeling in my stomach.I bet you could mention it in your Christmas card tot he in-laws. Perhaps incorporate it in a seasonal poem?
Lednik--lol, you are right. I'm sure that wasn't the most comforting statement to make. In my defense, I was making a broad statement and not referring to specific people. I suppose I'm less sensitive to the issues of teen sex and drugs simply because I was a teenager in the not so distant past. I obviously remember a lot of what was going on in my high school so it still seems somewhat normal (if that’s the right word) to me.
Jim--From your description in your blog and in class, your niece's pictures don't even seem close to what I would call 'scandalous.' One of my friends has barely a bra on and a g-string in a couple of her pictures, believe it or not. So I'm sorry if I traumatized you! I was only trying to talk about the broader context of Myspace and not the exact situation you described.
By the way, don’t watch the movie Thirteen. It’s a pretty intense account of teenage delinquency. Myspace might seem mild in comparison.
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